Hello Dearies,
Yesterday was my annual July tea party. It was nice to see everyone there except for Tanktop Tammy and her beastly family. I sent Stupidman over to Tanktop Tammy's place in the morning to pop her tires so hopefully she couldn't come. But the idiot hitch-hiked! With her kids and that stupid boyfriend of hers. So I had Stupidman chase her out with a scythe and pitch fork. He wanted to use a torch but it was day time. Stupidman threw the pitch fork at SuperDuper and hit him in the leg. Then he spun the scythe at Tanktop Tammy's neck but she grabbed it. Then Stupidman pulled it from her hands and yelled "Granny! Help!" Then the whole party tried to attack her but she threatened to ''snap us all in two".
Just when we thought we were going to lose the fight, Lily Zinger ( a friend of Dagwood's) jumped down from the trees and sank her teeth into Tanktop Tammy's meaty flesh. Tanktop Tammy howled and ran away with those ugly kids and that stupid looking boyfriend of hers. We all cheered.
Then the party got good. Stupidman played in the balloons and then threw them in the pool. He ate too much and puked again. I had lots of fun talking to everyone. I swam in my lovely new swimsuit.
Then Stupidman ran inside and grabbed his baby shark and threw it in the pool. It hit me in the back. And I said "Don't throw your toys at people!" Then he said "That wasn't a toy!" Then everyone jumped out of the pool and screamed!
The party was alot of fun and went on past Stupidman's bed time which is 8 o'clock. Later that night I looked out my bedroom window and saw eight eyes glowing in the bushes. So I went to get my shot gun and fired off a shot. Stupidman woke up and screamed and asked who I was shooting at, and I said Tanktop Tammy and her family. And he said 'oh good.'
I didn't hit Tanktop Tammy unfortunately, she got away.
Til next year!
Granny
ps in my younger days I would have hit my mark. Knew I should have taught Stupidman how to shoot, but he's too stupid. He'd only shoot himself. Or me.
Thanks for the party Granny. See you next year. Try and have more of them chocolate cupcakes next time, they be my favourites.
ReplyDeleteI didn't even invite you! And don't come to my party next year! And here I thought Stupidman was eating all the chocolate cupcakes. Oh and next time I will not miss my mark!
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