Daisy, Gnome and Cats

Hello Dearies,

Today I found out who put the gnome in Stupidman's room! It was Daisy! She dragged it in there to chew on it's head.

Earlier today I got three new cats! The top picture is of my white cat I call Snowflower, the blue eyed one is called Violet and the orange one is called Flora.

They are pretty cats. I rescued them. I hope they like their new home!

Garden Gnomes

Hello Dearies,

I went out to buy some new garden gnomes. I bought ten of them. It took me and Stupidman all day to put them in the garden. We had to get them in exactly the right places in the garden. They look nice. Here's pictures of all ten of them! The last one, holding a lantern, is my favourite and the third one with the sword is Stupidman's favourite.

Granny's gun

here's a picture my gun collection. I used the bottom one on Tanktop Tammy.

Granny's Annual July Tea Party!

Hello Dearies,

Yesterday was my annual July tea party. It was nice to see everyone there except for Tanktop Tammy and her beastly family. I sent Stupidman over to Tanktop Tammy's place in the morning to pop her tires so hopefully she couldn't come. But the idiot hitch-hiked! With her kids and that stupid boyfriend of hers. So I had Stupidman chase her out with a scythe and pitch fork. He wanted to use a torch but it was day time. Stupidman threw the pitch fork at SuperDuper and hit him in the leg. Then he spun the scythe at Tanktop Tammy's neck but she grabbed it. Then Stupidman pulled it from her hands and yelled "Granny! Help!" Then the whole party tried to attack her but she threatened to ''snap us all in two".

Just when we thought we were going to lose the fight, Lily Zinger ( a friend of Dagwood's) jumped down from the trees and sank her teeth into Tanktop Tammy's meaty flesh. Tanktop Tammy howled and ran away with those ugly kids and that stupid looking boyfriend of hers. We all cheered.

Then the party got good. Stupidman played in the balloons and then threw them in the pool. He ate too much and puked again. I had lots of fun talking to everyone. I swam in my lovely new swimsuit.

Then Stupidman ran inside and grabbed his baby shark and threw it in the pool. It hit me in the back. And I said "Don't throw your toys at people!" Then he said "That wasn't a toy!" Then everyone jumped out of the pool and screamed!

The party was alot of fun and went on past Stupidman's bed time which is 8 o'clock. Later that night I looked out my bedroom window and saw eight eyes glowing in the bushes. So I went to get my shot gun and fired off a shot. Stupidman woke up and screamed and asked who I was shooting at, and I said Tanktop Tammy and her family. And he said 'oh good.'

I didn't hit Tanktop Tammy unfortunately, she got away.

Til next year!

Granny

ps in my younger days I would have hit my mark. Knew I should have taught Stupidman how to shoot, but he's too stupid. He'd only shoot himself. Or me.

Going to the Beach on Canada Day!

Hello Dearies,

So today for Canada Day, Stupidman and I will be going to the beach. Stupidman really wants to go to the beach but I wanted to go tour the forts. But being that it is a nice day we decided to go to the beach (besides Stupidman would drive me nuts if we didn't).

Stupidman wanted to bring his fishies but I said they would swim away. I told him he can bring Daisy and Lily though and all the blow up fishies too.

I bought him a new blow up boat he can take with him. He really likes it.

I also made a cake that has a maple leaf on it. I haven't told Stupidman yet because I want to surprise him when we get home from the beach. Whenever Stupidman gets excited he runs into a wall. That is why I will wait to surprise him til after the beach.

I will bring my umbrella because I don't want to freckle. And I will bring my nice new swim suit-can't wait to wear it! And lots of food.

I told Stupidman that he must put life jackets on the dogs if he wants to bring them in the water.

Stupidman says he is going to dig a very big hole in the sand. He does this every year. Last year I fell into it. I was not happy. One of my water shoes got stuck in the mud too. I still miss that water shoe.

Then Stupidman jumped in with me and I got splattered with mud.

So then Stupidman stuck his hands inside of the mud and climbed out, and forgot about me! So I climbed out too and chased after him!

I hope the dogs don't fall into the hole this year. Or me.

Stupidman just told me he will hide the hole under leaves this year and watch to see how many people will fall into it.