Pet Guinea Pigs

Hello Dearies,

Yesterday Stupidman got stuck in the treehouse. It snowed and he got scared. He thought the snowman would attack him. He's been very paranoid since hanging out with Pig and Rat.

What an idiot.

So I made him a batch of chocolate chip cookies which are his favourite, to try and lure him out. When I set the tray down to put on my boots, Daisy tried to steal it. Naughty dog.

Anyway, I laid the cookies down in the snow outside and as soon as Stupidman smelled them, he jumped down, squishing the snowman. Well at least now he's not afraid of it anymore!

Pig and Rat came by this morning to play with Stupidman in the treehouse. They brought along two guinea pigs and gave them both to Stupidman. He promises to take care of them so I told him he could keep them. I named them Winnifred and Caroline. Stupidman wanted to call them 'Red Haired Guinea pig' and 'Blond haired Guinea pig', but thoses names are stupid!

Now back to my baking. Christmas is coming!!

good-bye,

Granny

Halloween Party

Hello Dearies,
The Halloween party on Saturday night went great! The guests were Dagwood, Wayne, Eddie, Hagface, Lily, Bailey the faun and Pig and Rat.
Wayne dressed as a Bog-Marsh costume, Eddie was a vampire, Hagface was a zombie, Lily a pirate, Bailey a mage, Dagwood wore a pink unicorn-blue dragon costume, Pig was an orc and Rat was a goblin.
And of course Stupidman was the merman and I was a druid with flowers. I looked very pretty.
I served my guests creepy treats, apple cider, pies and cupcakes and candy.
We bobbed for apples, except for Pig and Rat. Stupidman wouldn't come up for air because he thinks mermen can breath underwater. I had to tell him he's not really a merman but just an idiot. He does this every year. He really gets into his costume and thinks it's real.
Mr Rat, Mr Pig and Stupidman thought they heard rustling in the bushes and went outside to take it down.
Stupidman finally got over his fear of the decorations. Now he likes them and doesn't want to take them down!
It was a good party but I had to clean up the whole mess the next day by myself because Stupidman was still asleep.

Goodbye,
Granny

Halloween and The Award

Hello Dearies,

I am having a Halloween party this Saturday night.

I have invited Dagwood, Eddie, Wayne, Bailey, Hagface, Lily, Pig and Rat.

Stupidman is carving the pumpkins. I hope he doesn't cut off his fingers.

I am baking all the cupcakes and pumpkin cakes and making all the decorations. I want the house to look creepy but Stupidman keeps getting scared of the plastic spiders and bats and keeps hitting at them and pulling them down. I keep telling him they are fake but he won't believe me. Idiot.

I am also making potions! But Stupidman tried to drink them. Thankfully the potions are harmless and are just filled with Canada Dry with food colouring.

Stupidman wants to go trick or treating too.

I am going to dress up as a druid with flowers. I will look very pretty. Stupidman is going to be a merman. I made him the costume. It looks very nice.

Stupidman was sad I drained the pool because he wanted to swim around in it and test out the costume.

Also I have won the Prolific Blogger award!

Goodbye,

Granny

Thanksgiving

Hello Dearies,

Yesterday I had my Thanksgiving dinner. I served mashed potatoes, turkey, sweet potato pie and sweet potatoes, turnip, stuffing, cranberry sauce, buns, gravy, and fish (for Stupidman). I made pumpkin, blueberry and apple pies and pumpkin cake (for Stupidman).

I served wine (not for Stupidman) and Rat and Pig brought root beer. Stupidman drank too much rootbeer and got really hyper.

Every year I like to have a grand feast with lots of people, but not mean people like Tanktop Tammy or Lawnboy Larry. I invited Dagwood, Wayne, Eddie, Burne, Nester and Bonnie, Lane and his girlfriend Kayleigh, Bailey the faun and Lily and Hagface came along too. Stupidman invited his imaginary friends Pig and Rat who turned out not to be imaginary!

We fed Lily and Hagface outside on the porch with the dogs. Everyone else sat in my beautiful dining room. I used my best dishes. We had classical music in the background and had candles on the table. I told Stupidman not to touch them but he kept trying to put out the flame with his fingers and got burned. Idiot.

It turns out that Stupidman's non imaginary friends Pig and Rat have disgusting table manners. As does Kayleigh and Lane. Pig and Rat brought their pet pig and pet rat and the rat kept climbing on the table trying to get over to the turkey. And the pig keptmaking gross noises. Disgraceful. I put their pets outside. I must speak with Stupidman on his choice of friends.

And now I must rest in my rocking chair and knit.

Good-bye,

Granny

Stupidman's Imaginary Friends and My Yellow Dress

Hello Dearies,

I found the bug that was killing my flowers so I shot it with my shot gun. Then I went in to bake pies. I am making pumpkin, apple and blueberry pie. My favourite is pumpkin.

Stupidman was bugging me about the pumpkin cake but I already made it but didn't tell him because he will eat it.

I made Stupidman wear a sweater today because it is getting colder. And I closed the pool too because if I don't Stupidman will fall into without even knowing it.

I bought myself a new wool dress today. It is yellow and very pretty. I will wear it on Thanksgiving dinner.

Stupidman came in to tell me there are two weird guys in his tree house and now they are his best friends. So I went out to check to see who was in the tree house and it was empty. I think Stupidman has an imaginary friend again! I won't tell him they're not real.

And now he wants to invite them to the Thanksgiving dinner. So I said sure.

Good bye,

Granny

BBQ and Stupidman's Tree House and the Missing Fence

Hello Dearies,

We went to Dagwood's barbeque last week. It was fun! We ate, and we sang songs. Stupidman wanted to try a beer but I wouldn't let him. I don't want him to turn out like Tanktop Tammy.

Tanktop Tammy kept asking for more food and ate it all! Then when the food and beer were gone, she left. She was mad and Lawnboy Larry threatened us. Stupidman wants to take revenge!

About Stupidman's tree house-he finished it. But I had to inspect it to make sure he doesn't fall through the floor. In the middle of the night, I hired carpenters out to finish it, but told Stupidman that the garden fairies finished it!

Yesterday Stupidman found two weirdos sleeping in it. They had a pet pig and a pet rat. They jumped out the window when they saw Stupidman. Daisy and Lily chased after them until they jumped over the fence. But they forgot their rat but the rat crawled through under the fence.

Today I found half of my fence missing! I have a feeling Stupidman used it to build his tree house because he has alot of white wood in his tree house!

Today I am baking pies and cookies and other treats for Thanksgiving. I may even invite Dagwood over for dinner. Stupidman wants a pumpkin cake.

Good bye,

Granny

Tree House and Canning

Hello Dearies,
Stupidman is building a tree house and I am very worried about him. He's going to break his neck! Or back! Right now he only has the floor done. At least the tree isn't very high off the ground. I put a whole pack of pillows on the ground in case he falls. I don't want him to land on the dogs or the cats. Stupidman wants to build it all himself but when it's finished, I will decorate it! With lost of fishes-wooden fish, fish on the curtains, fish floor mats and fish pillows. I told Stupidman he wasn't ever to have any candles in his tree house because he might start a fire.
Stupidman wants it finished before winter comes so he can play up there.

On another topic, my apple and pear trees are ready for picking. And so are my strawberries. I have to keep Stupidman away from the strawberries because he will eat them all! I like to make jam from the strawberries and apple pies from the apples. I will begin my canning season soon. My cellar is getting very full.

goodbye for now,
Granny