Granny winter

Hello dearies, I can not wait for the snow to go away so I can garden again. Stupidman has a new friend. I don't know his real name but Stupidman calls him Dimwitman. They tried to play in the pool but there's no water in the pool so when they jumped in, they got stuck in there. I told them to use the stairs to get out of the pool. And I made them come inside for some hot chocolate because they were cold. Stupidman wants to have Dimwitman over for a sleep over. He wants to sleep in the tree house but I told him it was too cold. Today I went to the antique store looking for plates and cutlery. Two people were blocking my way when I tried to leave. I asked them nicely to please move. But they wouldn't so I hit them in the head with my purse. Then they moved. I saw rabbit foot prints in the snow out back. Stupidman wants it as a pet but I said no. That's all I have been up to. Good bye, Granny

Granny's Valentine's Day

Hello dearies,
I had a nice Valentines Day. Stupidman was off with Pig and Rat scaring lovers in Elora. So I had a very nice day at home by myself. I watched a romantic movie, and ate a box of chocolates and then had a bubble bath by candle light and sipped wine while listening to classical music.
It was a nice day.
good bye,
Granny

Guest Post by Mr. Pig

Greetings,
this is Mr. Pig. So I met up with that idiot in the tight pants again. This time he had ten friends with him and they all carried knives. They wanted to seek revenge against me. I fought them in the old mill ruins. I smacked one's head against wood and I pulled out my shield and war club and started beating them in the head to knock them out. Then one grabbed a spikey piece of wood and tried to get me with it. So I threw a rock at his head and he treated. Then all of them fled into the woods.
I win again!
farewell,
Mr. Pig

ps. I hope the police don't come after me. They started it!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone!

I had a very busy Christmas. When I was putting the gifts under the tree, Stupidman threw something at my head. I turned around and it was a piece of coal. Idiot. He thought I was Santa and was trying to capture me.

For Christmas dinner I made turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potato, gravy, stuffing, turnips, corn, dinner rolls, and for dessert I made candy cane cake, cookies, blueberry pie and ice cream.
And for snacks I made cookies, chocolate, candy, and turkish delight. We drank alot of hot chocolate and I had some wine. I don't give wine to Stupidman because it makes him sick.

For presents Stupidman gave me a cook book and Pig and Rat gave me baking utensils and oven gloves. Santa gave me knitting needles and some wool and two new nightgowns.

I knit coats for all the animals.

We had a very good Christmas!
See everyone in the new year,
good bye,

Granny

Pig Servant Tales

Hello,
this is Mr Pig from Pig'n Rat Servants. Granny says I can do a guest post.

So today I walked into trouble, with a boy wearing tight pants and long hair. I laughed at him and he said 'what are you laughing at freak?' So I grabbed his head and made him kneel. Then he pulled a pocket knife and tried to stab at me through my armour. Then his five friends attacked so I pulled out my two headed hammer and started swinging it at them. Then they all retreated. I win!

That's all from me. Thanks Granny!

Pet Guinea Pigs

Hello Dearies,

Yesterday Stupidman got stuck in the treehouse. It snowed and he got scared. He thought the snowman would attack him. He's been very paranoid since hanging out with Pig and Rat.

What an idiot.

So I made him a batch of chocolate chip cookies which are his favourite, to try and lure him out. When I set the tray down to put on my boots, Daisy tried to steal it. Naughty dog.

Anyway, I laid the cookies down in the snow outside and as soon as Stupidman smelled them, he jumped down, squishing the snowman. Well at least now he's not afraid of it anymore!

Pig and Rat came by this morning to play with Stupidman in the treehouse. They brought along two guinea pigs and gave them both to Stupidman. He promises to take care of them so I told him he could keep them. I named them Winnifred and Caroline. Stupidman wanted to call them 'Red Haired Guinea pig' and 'Blond haired Guinea pig', but thoses names are stupid!

Now back to my baking. Christmas is coming!!

good-bye,

Granny

Halloween Party

Hello Dearies,
The Halloween party on Saturday night went great! The guests were Dagwood, Wayne, Eddie, Hagface, Lily, Bailey the faun and Pig and Rat.
Wayne dressed as a Bog-Marsh costume, Eddie was a vampire, Hagface was a zombie, Lily a pirate, Bailey a mage, Dagwood wore a pink unicorn-blue dragon costume, Pig was an orc and Rat was a goblin.
And of course Stupidman was the merman and I was a druid with flowers. I looked very pretty.
I served my guests creepy treats, apple cider, pies and cupcakes and candy.
We bobbed for apples, except for Pig and Rat. Stupidman wouldn't come up for air because he thinks mermen can breath underwater. I had to tell him he's not really a merman but just an idiot. He does this every year. He really gets into his costume and thinks it's real.
Mr Rat, Mr Pig and Stupidman thought they heard rustling in the bushes and went outside to take it down.
Stupidman finally got over his fear of the decorations. Now he likes them and doesn't want to take them down!
It was a good party but I had to clean up the whole mess the next day by myself because Stupidman was still asleep.

Goodbye,
Granny